All In or All Out?

All in? Or, all out?

Ain't nobody got time to walk the line.

All hot? Or, all cold?

What is lukewarm anyways?

Who do you say that I am?

Who do I say that You are?

Sometimes I am totally obedient.

But most of the time only part.

If I'm not all in...then what am I?

And who are You?

I'm thinking a lot about obedience these days and realizing that many times I am being only partially obedient, not willing to fully surrender and give up control.  Partial obedience really means that I am not being obedient.  If someone tells you to bring spaghetti to a dinner party and you bring grilled cheese, even though you are still contributing and bringing something good, it would probably throw off the entire planned meal.  It doesn't matter if it is the most amazing grilled cheese you have ever tasted, it is still not spaghetti.  It isn't about just bringing something good to the table, there is a bigger picture involved.

As I sit here in Kona, I find myself totally at the mercy of the Lord in all aspects of my life: my dancing, my teaching, my friendships, my relationship, my finances, and my future.  I am being stretched beyond what I feel my emotions can handle as I face so many unknowns.  But one thing I do know is that I am supposed to be here and that helps.  I've realized that I feel all of this because I am not in control anymore.  I am always trying to protect my heart from disappointment or my pride from failure.  But what then am I believing about my God?  Do I really trust Him?  Do I really believe that He is perfect in all of His ways?

I believe the Lord has called me here to prepare me and equip me for what is next.  I feel so strongly that my time here is key for my calling.  What will I be doing after this?  Only the Lord knows, but I do know that I can trust that it will be better than what I could imagine for myself.  To what length will I go to be obedient to the voice of the Lord?  That is my choice, but I don't want to miss out on what could be.